Dear Reader,
The festive season is upon us, and with it comes the annual workplace Christmas party. For many, it's a highlight of the year - a chance to celebrate, connect with colleagues, and mark the year's achievements. But for a significant portion of your workforce, particularly those who are neurodivergent, the traditional workplace festive party can feel less like a celebration and more like an endurance test.
This week, rather than share research and statistics, I want to offer something practical: a guide to creating festive celebrations that genuinely work for everyone, whilst also providing strategies for those navigating these events. Because here's the thing - when we design events with neurodiversity in mind, we don't just help neurodivergent employees. We create better experiences for everyone.
Consider this your festive party special edition!
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Why this matters
The challenges neurodivergent people face during the festive period are significant and well-documented. Research shows that sensory processing differences affect 60-80% of those with ADHD and autism, making the typical festive party environment (loud music, flashing lights, crowded spaces, strong scents) genuinely overwhelming rather than merely uncomfortable.
But it's not just sensory challenges. The unstructured nature of festive gatherings creates anxiety around social expectations and participation. Without clear timelines or schedules, neurodivergent individuals may struggle to understand what's expected of them and when. Food-related stress adds another layer - navigating textures, unfamiliar foods, and dietary needs whilst surrounded by others can cause significant anxiety.
Perhaps most concerning is the pressure to participate. Expected participation in group activities and enforced socialisation can be exhausting. Without low-pressure options to step away or engage differently, the festive period becomes draining rather than enjoyable. Many neurodivergent employees report having to take recovery time after festive events or avoiding them altogether, despite perceived potential career implications.
The lack of quiet spaces to decompress when overwhelmed means there's nowhere to retreat when sensory or social demands become too much. And insufficient advance information about venues, activities, timings, noise levels, and dress codes makes preparation difficult - neurodivergent people typically need more detailed information to feel comfortable attending events.
The irony? The event designed to celebrate your team can end up excluding the very people you're trying to include.
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The Neuro-Inclusive Festive Party Guide
Read the full guide here!
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Navigating the Festive Party When You're Neurodivergent
Let me be honest about workplace Christmas parties: they sit in complicated territory. They serve a genuine purpose: building team connection, celebrating achievements, and marking the year's end. But they're often designed with a fairly narrow idea of what "celebration" looks like.
The traditional format (evening event, loud music, alcohol-focused, unstructured socialising) works brilliantly for some people, whilst being genuinely difficult for others. And because they're framed as a "treat" or "reward", people who struggle with them can feel additionally isolated, as if they're failing at enjoying something they're "supposed" to like.
If you're neurodivergent and facing a festive party invitation, here's what you can do:
Before Events: Gather as much information as possible. Don't hesitate to ask organisers about timings, venue layout, noise levels, food options, and dress codes. If the information isn't provided upfront, requesting it is entirely reasonable. Consider asking if you can visit the venue early (perhaps 30 minutes before) to familiarise yourself with the space and locate quiet areas or exits.
Setting Boundaries: Remember that attendance at festive events is typically optional. You don't need to attend every gathering or stay for the entire duration. Decide in advance how long feels manageable and give yourself permission to leave when you need to. If group activities don't suit you, it's perfectly acceptable to decline participation. You might say, "I'll sit this one out, but I'm happy to watch," or simply use a quiet space instead.
During Events: Identify quiet spaces immediately upon arrival where you can retreat if needed. Position yourself away from speakers if possible, and don't be afraid to use noise-cancelling headphones if that helps. Bring your own sensory tools (fidget items, stress balls) if they help you regulate. Take regular breaks rather than waiting until you're overwhelmed.
Food Situations: If you have specific food sensitivities, communicate these clearly in advance. For buffets, you might go early to avoid crowds. There's no shame in bringing safe foods if needed.
Managing Energy: The festive period often brings additional social demands beyond the main party. Pace yourself across multiple events and build in recovery time. It's fine to decline some invitations to preserve energy for work commitments. Consider which events matter most to you professionally or personally, and prioritise those rather than trying to attend everything.
Communication: If you have a supportive manager, a brief conversation about your needs can be helpful. You might say, "I find large gatherings challenging, so I'll attend for an hour," or "I work better with detailed information in advance." If your organisation has a neurodiversity network or champion, they may be able to advocate for more inclusive event planning.
Self-Compassion: Recognise that finding festive workplace events challenging doesn't make you difficult or antisocial. Many neurodivergent people experience the same struggles. Do what works for you, and don't apologise for prioritising your wellbeing.
Top Five Changes That Make Festive Events Work for Everyone
If you're organising a festive event this year, these five changes will have the biggest impact:
1. Provide Detailed Information in Advance Send invitations with visual schedules including clear timings (not "evening drinks" but "6:00-6:30pm arrival drinks, 6:30-8:00pm dinner"), expected noise levels ("DJ from 8pm, moderate volume until 9pm"), venue photos showing the space and where quiet areas are located, specific dress code requirements ("smart casual, jeans welcome, no need for suits"), and comprehensive food menus with ingredient lists. The more information you provide, the more people can prepare and decide whether to attend.
2. Create a Designated Quiet Space. Provide a clearly marked area with comfortable seating, warmer lighting (not bright fluorescents or flashing party lights), and limited or no music. Make it easy to find and explicitly give permission for people to use it. Consider providing noise-cancelling headphones and fidget toys. This simple addition transforms the event from "endure or leave" to "engage when comfortable, recharge when needed."
3. Make Attendance Genuinely Optional. State clearly that attendance has no career implications. Never pressure people to attend or make judgments about those who choose not to participate. Create an unobtrusive exit strategy for those who need to leave early - perhaps a side door or clear route that doesn't require walking through the entire party. When people know they can leave without drama, they're often more likely to attend in the first place.
4. Offer Varied Ways to Celebrate. Consider alternatives to the traditional evening party. Could you offer a daytime team lunch instead? A smaller departmental gathering alongside the larger event? A structured activity with clear beginning and end times? You're not diluting the celebration - you're actually enabling more people to participate authentically. Some of the most successful "celebrations" I've seen have been simple team breakfasts or afternoon coffee gatherings where people genuinely connected. With the NCoE in the summer, we took a water taxi down the river and walked back along the South Bank in London and ate ice cream!
5. Brief Your Team on What You're Doing and Why. Shout about the work you've done to create a more neuro-inclusive event. Brief anyone supporting the event on adjustments in place and how to support neurodivergent attendees. Have a designated neuro-inclusion champion for the event who can help navigate specific requests. Without this step, individuals are still at risk of being judged if they don't participate as expected. When the whole team understands why these accommodations exist, they create the psychological safety that makes them effective.
The key principle throughout is that accommodating different needs isn't special treatment - it's enabling people to participate in ways that work for their neurology. Progress over perfection. No single event will suit everyone, but thoughtful planning that considers different needs makes the gesture of celebration more meaningful for everyone involved.
And finally, a question for you?
If you've ever felt anxious about a work Christmas party, what would have helped you feel more comfortable attending? And if you're organising an event this year, which of these strategies feels most doable to implement?
Hit reply and share your thoughts - I'm genuinely curious about what makes festive celebrations feel inclusive versus overwhelming.
Tania
P.S. I've created two free resources to help with your festive planning: a comprehensive Neuro-Inclusive Workplace Festive Parties Guide and a printable Neuro-Inclusive Event Checklist. Download them all at Get access to our Neuro-Inclusive Party Checklist. And if you'd like support creating neuro-inclusive events beyond the festive season, our training programmes help organisations rethink how they bring people together.
P.P.S. To everyone who finds festive parties challenging: your feelings are valid. Protecting your wellbeing isn't antisocial or difficult - it's essential. Do what works for you, and don't apologise for prioritising your needs.
FIVE ways you can work with me:
- Neuro-inclusive Recruitment Audit: Understand what practical steps you can take to ensure your recruitment process is inclusive for all.
- Training: From line managers to leaders, global HR teams to recruitment, awareness sessions to champion training.
- Consultancy: Policy writing, process redesign, reviewing neurodiversity materials, data, ERG launches - anything neurodiversity at work related!
- Coaching: One-to-one coaching to help support an individual navigate the world of work as someone who is neurodivergent
- Speaking: From a fireside chat to a keynote, podcast guest to panellist
Reply to this email to find out more!
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